Friendship

Practical and Feminine Contemplations

Lately, I’ve noticed that I can actively feel the love of my friends.

Something must be healing inside me.

Perhaps I can give myself credit for the inner work that I do and how this fosters transformation in my life.

I was reflecting on my time in New York City. After I graduated from college, I was shy and unsure of myself. However, I still ended up doing standup comedy. At that time, I was coming out on the other side of a raging eating disorder. I didn’t have many friends, and I had almost no idea who I was. But when I started doing standup, I suddenly found myself accepted by a group of friends. To be sure, I was in therapy at the time, so I had that support to encourage me to step out and take chances.

The friends I made during that time helped me to feel loved and accepted in a way I hadn’t felt previously. The friendships offered healing to me from the many years I felt isolated and inadequate. This is part of the value of friendship.

Friendship is a very special type of relationship that, when fostered, brings more love into our lives. Friends help us to feel seen and appreciated. They help us feel less alone.

These might be very obvious observations to you, but for me, this is a very recent felt sense.

Having good friends is a gift, and being a good friend requires thoughtfulness and consideration. I look back at times when I wasn’t a very good friend, and my friends told me so. I’m grateful for those times because open, honest communication is important in every relationship, including friendships.

I also pay attention to friendship dynamics. I’ve noticed that I have some friends who talk over me, interrupt, or simply don’t respond to my text messages. Paying attention to how I am treated makes me reevaluate these type of friendships, ensuring I’m not replaying old childhood relationship dynamics.

I get to choose who is closest to me. I get to be open and receptive and fiercely loyal to myself. I get to be generous because I care, not because I seek approval. And the greatest gift is that I get to know myself through my relationships as long as I’m paying attention.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! Thank you to all my subscribers, whether you are paid or free. Your support is a precious gem to me.

Also, I have a new interview published in Glasstire. This one is with a friend and very talented artist, Charles Mary Kubricht. Enjoy!